Push Away… Matters of the Heart




Push Away… Chp. 1

 I made it to the bathroom, but he didn’t let go.  He pulled me close to him, but only because it was crowded and loud.  He said something to me and I couldn’t hear him.  I shrugged my shoulders and gazed in the direction of the door to the bathroom.  He said something else and what could I do.  I smiled and nodded and rushed into the bathroom.  I was relieved with being able to go.  I think I had enough to drink and I would have to sober up to drive home.

Push Away… – Chp. 2

 I didn’t know what I was doing. I looked over at him, “Ryan, I am not doing anything, but watching the game. I made an attempt to talk to you and it didn’t go well, so it would be better to not say anything at all.”


Push Away… – Chp 3

I found Ryan sleeping in the bedroom. I was instantly angry, so I stormed to the head-board, grabbed my pillow, and the comforter from it. Ryan sat up, “What are you doing?”
“Taking my pillow and blanket, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Jos, please come here we need to figure this out.”
“NO, there is nothing to figure out. We will never, ever, go there again.”
“As the man of this house I feel that I deserve some satisfaction.”
“Yeah, at my expense.”
I walked out and went to the couch. How dare he think he has any right to do that to me? I fumed until I fell asleep exhausted.


Push Away… Chp 4

I closed my eyes while my heart jumped out of my chest. He turned the stool, so I was facing him. That’s when I opened my eyes again landing on the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I was instantly scared and confused. Why was I here again?


Push Away… Matters of the Heart Chapter 5

I didn’t say a word, but they had already given me what I needed from them today, so I slowly got the kids out of the kitchen after he moved to the TV room. My children hadn’t forgotten me or that I loved them.e the first to like this..

“So, he’s not our new boss?”
“No, I think he is more like a consultant. You know the type; they come in, watch everyone, evaluate each person on their job with the company, and then give them the ax.”

Push Away… chp. 6

“So, he’s not our new boss?”
“No, I think he is more like a consultant. You know the type; they come in, watch everyone, evaluate each person on their job with the company, and then give them the ax.”

Push Away – Chapter 7

I followed him to the conference room and I was sure he was going to congratulate me on what a great job I was doing. I had to convince myself this, because I couldn’t handle any negative right now. I was doing so well.

We walked in and Mr. Reynolds had his back to us talking on a cell phone. He was telling the person on the other end to buy this and sell that. He must have been working on trades or something by the sound of it. We stood there waiting and I noticed, even though he was sitting, that he was fairly tall with a very nice suit on. He held his posture very strong as he spoke on the phone. He turned in his chair not looking at us. I was on the other side of a very long table, but I was able to make out that he had very dark brown, not quiet black, hair and the skin of someone touched by the sun daily. It seemed like I had met him before. I watched him move to look through some papers and then he glanced up with a quick smile holding up one finger to put us off. I realized where I had seen him before.

Push Away – Chapter 8

I don’t know where the next week went. I ended up taking back the four sales leads and completing them. I walked around getting closer to feeling numb. I was getting back into that state of mind of not having a mind or body. The emptiness was definitely back, but I worried about seeing Mr. Reynolds, the man that I lost control with. How was I going to handle seeing him and having him know who I am.



Push Away…Chapter 9

He hung up the phone, turning around, moving to stand up with his hand extended to me, “Mrs. Evans.” He stopped when he reached my face with a stunned look.

I reached out shaking his hand saying his name, “Mr. Reynolds.”
He stood there staring at me speechless. I didn’t know what to do and I gave him a little grin, pulled my hand away, and then the smile fell from my face. He let his hand fall, but didn’t say or do anything.


Push Away… Chapter 10

Tyler stood up right away looking at me nervously. I got up and walked over to the bar with him following asking questions, “What? Is there something wrong?”

He was looking at me like I was going to bail on him, but I tried to sooth his worry with a gentle smile and a caring look into those eyes, “If I am going to do this…you need to stay here.”
“What? Why?”
I didn’t want to tell him, but I closed my eyes and let the words fall from my lips, “You make me nervous.”
I opened my eyes to see how he took that, and he was grinning from ear to ear, “I make you nervous?”
I gave him my most pleading look while nodding.
He laughed with a sigh, “Okay. I will stay here. Go get them.”

Push Away… – Chapter 11

There was another note on my desk:

Joselyn, This is from the man who adores you. I chickened out earlier. It does not compare to your beauty in my eyes. I will understand if you won’t accept it, but please do, even if you can only wear it here. It’s a tear drop to replace the ones you have lost.

Push Away – Chapter 12 

He walked passed me, but let his chest graze my back as he went by. He stopped at the door, “I love what you did in the conference room.”
I looked up at him with surprise. What did he mean ‘what I did in the conference room’?
His grin was guilty, and he raised his eyebrows, “You impress me.” He continued out the door.
I fell to the chair knowing he had listened to the whole thing. I shook my head in disbelief, but he did make me smile.


Push Away – Chapter 13

I took Haden to the doctors, and they said he had a slight ear infection. We stopped and picked up the medicine on the way home. I gave him a dose and curled up with him in my bed to watch a movie.

Ryan came in sitting on the bed looking at Haden, “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he will be. He had a slight ear infection.”
Haden took Ryan’s hand and pulled him, “Daddy, come here and cuddle with me and mommy.”
He crawled in next to Haden on the other side of him. How could I refuse if it was for my baby? We stayed like that for hours. Haden finally fell asleep a little after nine. I felt Ryan’s hand touch mine and I looked over. In that moment I felt awful for not wanting to love him anymore and the tears were coming to me. I didn’t want him to touch me. It actually hurt with the thought of being with him. I wouldn’t know how to make love to him after seeing him with her. I closed my eyes trying not to think about it, but the thought wouldn’t stay away.


Push Away – Chapter 14

Relief filled me when he pulled me from the car wrapping his arms around me tightly, “Are you okay?”
Knowing I was going to be okay now, I let my whole body fall into his, resting my face on his neck. He pushed me away from him against the car forcefully. His hands came to my face to look me in the eyes. His hands moved to my chin, pushing it up. Next, his eyes scanned my arms while his hands glided down over them. I got the distinct feeling that he was looking for something.
My wonder was satisfied when he asked, “He didn’t hit you?”
I shook my head no. He pulled me back to him and tucked my face to his neck. His heart was racing, and his arms were shaking.
His breath was rapid against my ear, “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, but said, “Yes.”


Push Away – Chapter 15

I drove home wondering what had just happen. Did he just tell me he loves me? How could he love me? He doesn’t even know what I like for breakfast. A lawyer? Oh, shit, what did I just do? Do I really want this right now? Do I want to stop him from helping me end my dismay over my relationship with my husband? Oh my god, I have a husband. This is not going to be good.


Push Away – Chapter 16

As I hung up, Tori came storming into my office, “We need to talk.”

I looked up at her worried. She came and grabbed my arm pulling me back to my seat and sat me down in my chair. She was leaning over me looking at me right in the face, “I know where I have seen Mr. Reynolds before.”
I laughed, “I thought you were going to talk to me about this later.”
“Are you kidding me? No way. He is the…”
I put my hand over her mouth and pushed her back, so I could stand up. I kept my eyes on hers and she realized I knew. She was walking backwards, “Does he know?”
I nodded, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how much she had figured out.
“So, what is going on?”
I shook my head and pulled out more paperwork trying to avoid the gaze. I was trying to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal.
“That is why he is feeding you the big accounts?”
“No, that was before he knew. I avoided him for a long time. The offer and the first deal were all set up before he knew. That is why I was going to quit.”
“Why would you quit? He was hot for you that night. I think you should pursue it.”
“No! I don’t want it to be that; everyone would think it was… well, you know.”
She was holding her hand over her mouth laughing, “You are hot for him.”
“I am still married.”
“Yeah, because that is going so good for you.”
“Mrs. Evans, can I see you in my office.” Tyler had poked his head in.


Push Away – Chapter 17

He grinned and his eyes met mine, “I have a meeting for you on Wednesday at 10 am.”
I shook my head, “I already have a meeting at that time.”
He closed his eyes, “This is more important.”
“No, work is more important, and this has to deal with two accounts.”
“But this is your life.”
“Tyler, you do have to check with me on appointments before you make them for me.”
He shook his head, “I am your boss.”
“NO, you are the evaluator.”
He smiled, “Okay, when is a good time for you?”
“Next Tuesday.”
“But I have a meeting with the next big account that day. How about this Thursday?”
“No, I am finalizing everything for Friday. I have to give out my final decisions Thursday and Friday. So, it will have to wait.”
“I don’t want it to wait. I want you in my bed every night.”


Push Away – Chapter 18

He had the limo waiting for us, as we headed down. I got in, as he held the door for me, but when it closed he moved close and started to unbutton my shirt. I glared at him with disapproval.
“What, you need to relax a little. I could calm your nerves.”
I laughed with a sigh and shook my head. He grinned and buttoned them back up slowly, “I just want to help.”
“I need to stay focused.”
“Do I get to stay?”
I shook my head and looked out the window.
His whisper came with warmth against my ear, “I still make you nervous?”
I nodded and he backed off with satisfaction, “I will make you very nervous if you let me.”
I turned to him to see what he meant, but he was looking out the other window and all I could see was his strong jaw with his mouth turned up in the corner.


 Push Away – Chapter 19

I felt Ryan walk up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. He hasn’t been allowed to do that for 5 years; why did he think it would be allowed today? I pushed away from him and stepped outside, but he held my arm tightly. I looked back with a glare.
“You are still my wife.”
I pulled my arm from him, “But you don’t have my permission to do that.”
His glare was long, as he held my arm tight, “Do you want to make a scene in front of your boss?”
I looked down at his hand holding my arm, “He is not the boss, and there won’t be a scene if you let go of me, but don’t push me.”
I heard yelling from the car, “Joselyn, is everything okay?”
I looked back to see Tyler standing with the car door open. I reassured him with a nod, “Yeah, can you send Jared in its dinner time?”
I walked back in and set the table.


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